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10 Ways to Begin Talking to Your Children about Sex & Pornography

Talking to your child about sex can be challenging. However, having this talk is vitally important in helping a child understand God’s plan for sex.

1. Be the parent you never had.
The majority of parents did not have parents who sat them down and spoke to them about sex—let alone pornography. The first step is to make a decision that you are going to do a better job than your parents did.

2. Start being assertive. Get over the misconception that someone else should teach your child sex education. Now, your child might be taught by someone else. The world is more than happy to teach your child about sex; however, it may be done in a way and manner in which you would not approve. Speaking to your child about sex demonstrates that you love your child enough take the initiative to teach her.

3. Educate yourself.
Now that you have chosen to stop being passive, it can be intimidating to find what material is out there. Don’t panic! You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. There are many great resources available today, and here are a few to consider: Before I was Born (by Carolyn Nystrom), The Story of Me, What’s the Big Deal and Facing the Facts, (by Stan and Brenna Jones). Each of these are well written and age-appropriate from ages 3 to 21. However, do your own research and find sex educational material that fits your values.

4. Listen to wise counsel. There are good plumbers and bad plumbers who give good and bad advice. Begin to use your God-given gift of discernment. Don’t believe everything you read on social media. Pursue the truth with factual evidence-based data, Scripture and common sense. Then make a decision that is wise for you and your child. What is wise for you might be foolish for the next family.

5. Set a deadline. Without setting a deadline, it is possible the conversation will never take place. As you become educated, knowing the facts and making sense of your values and God’s Word, begin to set a deadline, a time and place you are going to meet with your child.

6. Stop making excuses. Stop making excuses as to why you have not protected yourself and your children with Internet protection and have not been monitoring your child’s social media accounts, school accounts, e-mails and texts.

7. Start believing the truth. Stop believing the lies that if you talk to them about sex and pornography, it is only going destroy their innocence. Newsflash: If your child has had any exposure to the media, such as TV, Internet, the Disney Channel, magazine racks or billboards, that innocence was destroyed a long time ago. Another newsflash: God made sex. Sex, as God designed, is a beautiful thing. It is the world that has made it dirty, ugly and shameful.

8. Get over your fears. Now that you have educated yourself, your fears are going to be much less than when you started this journey. You are going to have a new confidence. Understanding that God made sex, you can now begin to reclaim it, as God intended, for you and your child!

9. Stop indulging in pornography. All too often, parents are addicted to pornography or involved in an affair. If this is you, get help as soon as you can. If it is a secret, it will eventually come out. What is private will eventually become public.

10. Get past your own shame. You, your child, your marriage, and your future are worth fighting for. If shame is part of your story due to abuse, neglect, abandonment, rejection, or a struggle with pornography or infidelity, talking to your children about sex and pornography is almost impossible to do in a healthy manner. Your spouse and children know at a subconscious level what you think they don’t know.

Prestonwood Support

Prestonwood has a variety of Bible Fellowships for the spiritual development of every person. No matter your age and stage of life, there’s a Bible Fellowship for you. Visit prestonwood.org/connect for more information. The Prestonwood Library, located on the second floor of the Plano Campus, provides additional resources and services to help Christians grow in faith and ministry. Visit prestonwood.org/covenanteyes for additional resources.

Used with permission: covenanteyes.com