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Four Habits to Rebuild Trust in Your Marriage

Written by Dan Wobschall

To build anything that will hold up under the toughest of conditions and storms 
that will come, it is crucial to have a quality foundation. To maintain structural integrity over time, using quality materials to build that foundation is vital. Cut corners, and you weaken the entire structure and subject it to potential collapse under stress. The quality of the components we use to build the foundation of our marriages is arguably more critical, if it stands a chance to survive the storms of life. One of the most destructive forces our marriages will ever be slammed with is pornography.

Trust is the pure and powerful binding agent that holds our marital relationships together. Porn is trust’s greatest enemy. Its effects are relentless and destructive. And when that foundation of trust gives out and the structure of marriage sitting on top of it begins to crumble and fall, people get hurt, leaving wounds and deep scars. And then what? Can our marriage be rebuilt?

Habit 1: Leave no time unaccounted for in your day.

Share your schedule and plans of where you are going to be with your spouse. Give her reasons to trust you. You can also let your accountability partner(s) know your schedule. Give your spouse full permission to check in with that person. Keep no secrets!

Habit 2: Install accountability software on all devices with Internet access.

Offer full access to your spouse on the contents of the activity reports. If she is not receiving them, let her know she can contact your accountability partner anytime to get updated. Keep no secrets!

Habit 3: Go to bed at the same time.

Even if you are not tired, grab a book and join your spouse. Late at night or when a person is tired are very common times when people become vulnerable to temptation. Satan knows our every weakness and lays in wait to “steal, kill and destroy” in those moments. Ephesians 4:27 instructs us to “give no
opportunity to the devil.” Do not give him the opportunity to stick his foot in the door.

Habit 4: Tell your spouse when you stumble or are struggling with temptation.

Radical measures to restore relationship
We chose a pretty radical way to undermine the trust of our wives, so radical measures
are required to rebuild it.

Jesus took some pretty radical measures to restore the broken relationship between Himself and us. In His total innocence, He was beaten and crucified; He died and rose again to rebuild the broken trust which was destroyed in the garden.

Jesus said in Luke 9:23, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Men, the cross of rebuilding trust is indeed ours to carry daily. That very cross, however, leads to a place of great hope, healing and restoration if we are willing to endure the path.

Trust is found in its most pure form in Jesus Christ. He is our example to follow and has
shown us the way.

Prestonwood Support

Prestonwood has a variety of Bible Fellowships for the spiritual development of every person. No matter your age and stage of life, there’s a Bible Fellowship for you. Visit for more information. The Prestonwood Library, located on the second floor of the Plano Campus, provides additional resources and services to help Christians grow in faith and ministry. Visit for additional resources.

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