Faith Amid Meltdowns
Clay Boatright has few peaceful moments in his life. But with God’s guidance, he now knows why.
As he leaves his stress-ridden job in the corporate world each day, Clay prepares for an equally-demanding time—either testifying in Austin, lobbying for disability issues on Capitol Hill, or coping with unique challenges at home.
Nearly seven years ago, a life of normalcy was turned upside down when Clay and his wife, Carole, learned their identical twins, Paige and Mia, had severe cognitive disabilities, including autism. As the twins development worsened over time, they realized their lives would never be traditional.
Life in the Boatright family is chaotic. Eleven-year-old Blaire has a typically active preteen lifestyle; and Paige and Mia, who turn eight next month, are not potty trained, can’t clothe themselves, don’t speak, and often have meltdowns.
Testing their faith at times, the couple struggled with the special needs diagnosis. Clay described it as similar to the grief process, where you start with denial, and move through anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
“Although we prayed often, we didn’t really feel God directly leading us,” Clay said.
Three years ago, Paige and Mia had another overwhelming meltdown, providing a moment of faith for Clay. Crying intensely, the twins had experienced a rough night, wouldn’t go to sleep, and were extremely upset. Their meltdown sent Clay’s wife and other daughter into a tailspin as well.
Thoughts racing through his mind, Clay tried to sleep but couldn’t.
“Why me?” Clay said. “Why, God, did You do this to me? Why did You do this to Paige and Mia? Why us?”
The next morning when Clay woke up, a feeling of peace came over him as he realized the Holy Spirit had answered his question—to help people.
“Once I reached acceptance of God’s plan, it felt like a gigantic weight was lifted, and I was able to focus on His work,” Clay said.
Like many parents, Clay still wondered “what he had done wrong?” But two months later, God led him to John 9:3, which cleared up his concerns: Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”
Studying the message from God’s Word, Clay realized that disability is not a punishment from God.
“You don’t need to be a Ph.D. from Harvard for God to use you; and people with disabilities can still be used by God in some way,” Clay said. “He, by design, gave us Paige and Mia especially to help people like them, meaning get up and do something.”
In raising Paige and Mia, the Boatrights would enable God’s reflection to be most revealed through their children. Getting them involved in a church atmosphere seemed most conducive to make that happen. But, after being active in local churches for 18 years, the couple realized that their unique needs could tax the resources of many churches.
“Raising identical twins with severe cognitive disabilities can be overwhelming, but after attending a Special Needs Christmas dinner in 2006, we immediately fell in love with Prestonwood,” Clay said. “The church has had an amazing impact on our chaotic lifestyle; Prestonwood gives our family the opportunity to ‘be still.’ The teachers have embraced Paige and Mia, and the church understands people with disabilities can still be used by God in some way.”
Attending Saturday Night Worship Service, the Boatrights found a good fit. Blaire is in the preteen program; the twins are in a Special Needs Bible study; and Carole and Clay are a part of an Adult Bible Fellowship class. Afterward, they join friends for dinner at Main Street.
Teachers in the Special Needs Ministry love Paige and Mia and work with them weekly to understand who God is. They take the twins into the Worship Service for a few minutes each weekend so that one day they might manage sitting through the entire service. And, surprisingly, teachers have recently taught Mia, who rarely says a word, to say, “Bible.”
“That’s important. It meant a lot to us. Their teachers have been very sweet,” Clay said. “Prestonwood has been wonderfully accepting of our family. Jessica Baldridge leads the Special Needs Ministry, and as a mother of an adult with developmental disabilities, she brings a lot of practical understanding to the position. The workers and volunteers have worked with our twins on skills necessary to receive God’s Word.”
The type of environment Prestonwood has created not only benefits the immediate family, but has a ripple effect.
"God leading us to the Saturday and Wednesday night fellowship at Prestonwood, with peaceful enrichment unwavering from God's Word, has had an amazing impact on our chaotic lifestyle," Clay said. "We see God's hand reflected in the lives of teachers who work with our children, and watch as our kids take that reflection to those they meet every day."
